A case of the “peesobads”

When you gotta go, you gotta go...

When you gotta go, you gotta go…

I promised an entry about my current way of eating or diet.  It seems that word (diet) implies a need to lose weight however according to Webster this meaning is only described in part d. of the definition, preceded by:

a :  food and drink regularly provided or consumed

b :  habitual nourishment

c :  the kind and amount of food prescribed for a person or animal for a special reason

and only then does the idea of weight loss enter:

d :  a regimen of eating and drinking sparingly so as to reduce one’s weight <going on a diet>

I am often greeted with such reactions when I tell people that “my diet won’t allow that (food)” or “my doctor has me on a strict diet” etc.  “But you don’t need to lose weight!” they say, alarmingly.  No, I don’t, colitis does wonders for my figure (no, I don’t say that, not usually:).  However, a history of excreting your intestinal lining most certainly does not go hand in hand with excessive weight gain or any weight gain at all for that matter.  So, what I was going to say, from the beginning, was that I will not write about my diet.  Not today at least.  I want to share an experience that I had this morning with you so that you will not feel alone if or when this happens to you.
I love my nut milk!

I love my nut milk!

I’ll start with my morning routine.  I actually had this idea that I was going to write a blog entry today called “I might just be the healthiest person on this planet” because I woke up, did 40 minutes of qigong while my buckwheat/quinoa/chia seed/mixed organic berry/homemade nut milk hot cereal slow cooked on the stove, after which I drank down a handful of supplements (with a cup of water) prescribed to me by the herbalist (oh, and I swallowed a handful of supplements, with a cup of water, to continue to kill off my parasites right after waking up, pre-qigong), ate my hot breakfast cereal with a mug of rooibos tea with steamed nut-milk, drank a cup of supplements that need to be dissolved in water, drank a cup of liquid vitamins that also require water, drank another gulp of water to down the pro-biotics I’m taking to help restore the proper balance of bacteria in my intestines.
My nut milk froths really well too (now I can drink fancy drinks like the rest of you but still stick to my caffeine-free, sugar-free, dairy-free diet!  I always felt left out at the coffee shops ordering the one herbal tea they had available:(

My nut milk froths really well too (now I can drink fancy drinks like the rest of you but still stick to my caffeine-free, sugar-free, dairy-free diet! I always felt left out at the coffee shops ordering the one herbal tea they had available).

Feeling full, grounded and super hydrated, I was off to my acupuncture appointment.  Can you see where this is going?  At the appointment, the doctor went over the regular questions, how was my week? any issues? how was my mask making event over the weekend, we chatted about how much we both like hot-springs, he explained some “dolphin water massage” sort of thing to me, did a little morphogenic field testing to make sure I had the right dosages of supplements (I was able to reduce two of my supplements, this means I’m making progress!) and then I was laying on the table while he poked my belly till I felt a little sharp pains signifying where he should stick the needle.  He put the heater on my feet, turned out the lights and I tried to clear my mind as I lay there trying to breath a healing light into my abdomen, intestines, liver, kidneys (though I just learned today that they are not located exactly where I thought they were so I’m not sure what I have been filling with a healing blue light).  I was doing some qigong circular breathing to help clear my mind when it happened.  I could feel the qi building up, filling just below my navel.  As I became more aware of the sensation, I realized this was not the building of the oh so desirable qi energy but of a full bladder!  I’m sorry, this is a silly thing to share but it was a bit traumatic and figured what the heck.  I thought I could just wait it out, “how much longer could it be,” I wondered and convinced myself it was only minutes before the doctor returned to remove the needles; I could handle it.  Eventually the sensation/pressure/pain was nearing unbearable and I timidly said, “doctor johnson (I changed his name for the sake of this blog)?” out-loud.  Nothing.  Well, of course, it wasn’t loud enough.  I waited a bit, after all, I didn’t want to worry him or the other patients.  “Doctor Johnson.” I said a bit louder this time.  Still nothing.  “Doctor Johnson!” I yelled.  Yet nothing still.  I waited, I heard a door open, he must be passing my my door, “this is my chance,” I thought.  “DOCTOR JOHNSON!” I yelled again (still not at my loudest, I really did not want to disturb anyone).  Nothing.  I lifted my arm to look at the red tipped needle in my right wrist.  “It couldn’t be that difficult to remove myself,” I pondered seriously.  Then I wondered how bad it would be to get up and walk to the bathroom with the needles in.  Then I thought some more about removing them myself and eventually I resigned myself to my fate, to lie there in pain until the doctor returned.  By the time he came in, tears were streaming down my face.  I explained my predicament and he promptly removed my needles while explaining that I could chew several of the supplements so that this would not happen again and I ran to relieve myself.  I am not sure how I could have prevented this but next time I will drink less and pee more before I embark on a 40 minute long acupuncture treatment.

acupuncture cartoon
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